Friday, January 3, 2014

Why I Don't Mind Insta-Love

Last night I finished a book, rated it, and as per my usual I checked Goodreads to see if other bloggers agreed, or had differing opinions from me. The book will remain nameless, but I found a lot of reviews bashing it because it had Instant Love. This got me thinking, what has everyone got against Instant Love? Am I the last blogger who doesn’t hate it?

Insta-Love is not realistic

Actually, it is realistic. If not for Insta-Love I wouldn’t be here today! My parents met and were engaged within 2 weeks, they’ve been married almost 30 years. My Grandparents met and were engaged within a month. Both of their loves were instant. They knew they had met that special someone and just went with it.

I am not saying that everyone meets and has a whirlwind romance. I’m just saying that it does happen, more often then you think. And I’m glad both my parents and grandparents believed in insta-love because without it I probably wouldn’t be here.

Characters aren’t as fleshed out with Insta-Love

I think this is a generalization. Whether the characters meet and fall in love instantly, were dating prior to the novel, or got together in the middle of the story. The problem isn’t the love. The problem is the characters themselves. An author has to make you fall in love with both parties and give you a reason to care about them both independently and together.

I think this is the kiss of death for Insta-Love. The real reason people dislike it so much isn’t because they don’t believe in instant love or connections. Readers don’t like Instant love because they don’t care about the characters as individuals before they become a couple.

I like the Slow Burn

Me too. I love a long, drawn out romance. The kind where you’re never really sure if the characters will get together or not. But again, this is more about the characters themselves. I’ve become invested in both of them as individuals so I want to see them as a couple. I think romance with Instant love can be just as good as a slow burn if the author makes you care about the characters and their relationship.

So what I’m trying to say is. Hello my name is Emily and I don’t mind Instant Love. Tell me in the comments your opinions on Instant love!  


  1. I don't actively dislike insta-love. But my favorite relationship will always be Percy and Annabeth's from PJO/HoO. And it was definitely a slow burn (what, 4-5 years of ups and downs?)

    If the story's good, it's good. If it's bad, it's bad. That's it.

  2. Insta love isn't a bad thing in my book. I always feel awkward when people bash it because I don't agree and I don't have the real life examples to support why I like it. I just do, call me a hopeless romantic.

    Aly @ My Heart Hearts Books

  3. Hello! My name is Rachel and I don't mind insta-love either!

    I love love love your points here! I think the speed of a relationship varies from one to the other. For some, it takes years for people to know how they feel. For others, it happens in days. That's completely realistic. My parents were engaged within two months of meeting and married within a year. They're still married to this day, close to 35 years later. I also know people who dated for years, got married, and got divorced not long after. There's just no allotted time for love. It happens when it happens and it works when it works.

    YES to not caring for the individuals before the relationship! YES!

    Rachel @ Paper Cuts

  4. I love how your parents just met and--that's just so cute. :)

    That aside, I am kind of nitpicky when it comes to insta-love. I guess it's because I believe that they should really get to know each other before the heavy stuff. Maybe it's just one of those things that I don't believe in unless it's happened to me.

    Some really cute stories in real life and books involve insta-love, though. It depends on the story and quality of writing, I guess. Some authors do well writing these kinds of books, but others just aren't cut out for them.

    Thanks so much for sharing--I loved this post!

    Aimee @ Read by the Undead

  5. Awww. Wouldn't it be nice if people knew instantly that the person in front of them was their destiny? :) I'm not a fan of insta-love. Insta-lust? sure. I know that lust, no matter how superficial it may sound have the possibility to turn into love sometimes. But you have made some valid points. And to be honest, the slow burn can get boring and drawn-out.

    Great post, Emily!

  6. I really do see your point, even though I'm not a fan of instalove. Really, it can be done right, but most of the books I've read do it wrong. Instalove is not the same as instalust but many books treat it that way. I love a good character development, so regardless of the love aspect of the story, if the characters are given a chance to grow into themselves in the story then I'm happy.

  7. All excellent points! Insta-love doesn't kill a book for me but I prefer a slow burn romance. Some books utilize it very well. I think it's awesome that both your parents and grandparents met and married so fast! That's such a neat tidbit. My parents married after a few months and I thought that was fast. :-) Wonderful topic for discussion!

  8. You definitely make some good points. I don't mind insta-attraction, but and even insta-love wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't based on two conversations. If the people are around each other constantly and fall in love quickly (especially when they're running for their lives) that makes sense. And then you realize only a week or two passed by, but it makes sense given the situation. The ones I mind are the ones where they barely talk, but suddenly are "in love." Great post! ~Pam

  9. I really don't mind it either. My mom told me she knew my dad was who she was going to marry when she met him but they still dated, broke up, got back together again. Your right about the connection thing. I feel like I had that with my husband I knew right away and even though we didn't get together instantly that connection was still there.

  10. I TOTALLY agree with everything you've said here. I've never put it in terms of characters, but that is totally it. If I can care about the characters, and if they are well developed outside of the romance, then insta-love can and does work for me. I just love a good portrayal of a relationship, whether it began as insta-love, or is a slow-burn, or whatever. So no, you are not alone! Seriously excellent post. :D

  11. Hm, I think my problem isn't necessarily with instalove, it's with poor pacing. That's really sweet that both your parents and grandparents fell in love so quickly, and "instalove" can definitely happen. It just needs strong writing to back it up.

  12. Wow, love this post!
    I don't mind insta-love when it's done right. I have to believe that they love each other. But when it's 'I just met him and would die for him' kinds thing and I just don't buy the connection, then it bothers me.
    I also think there is a big difference between instalove and instalust or insta-horniness as I like to call it...

  13. Yep! When you care about the characters you are invested in their relationship, so it works better! Well said, Emily!

  14. Love this post!!

    I actually don't mind insta-love. It's more along the lines of whether I like the characters and the story. Insta-love is almost an excuse I use to explain why I didn't like a book at times. It's a terrible habit of mine.

  15. I love insta-love AND slow burn! I think if the characters are well-written either way can work really well. Insta-love is, in my opinion, harder to pull off, though.