Now fair warning this is going to be a long post. I don't often post things about my life, I like to stick to bookish things but this is something I wrote and wanted to share. I've also started thinking about my blog and I put a lot of work in to it behind the scenes but I feel like a lot of my followers don't really know me so here is the first step in getting to know Emily.
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| My sister Bethany and Me (I'm on the right) |
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| This is USD Law School on a good day (there are few good days) |
The problem I’m realizing now is that I went to law school
for absolutely no reason. I’m not passionate about being a lawyer or what
lawyers represent. To be completely honest I went to please my parents. And
they are pleased with me. They have never been happier or treated me better
then they have since I began Law
School
So that brings me to my crisis.
I HATE Law School and not in that abstract way that makes you dislike things
that are challenging but in the cringe when I wake up in the morning, don’t
care what classes I’m going to pick next term because I will not like them
anyway kind of way. I’m completely apathetic toward Law School
This is the part where Maggie Stiefvater comes in, in case
you were wondering if I was ever going to get to the point or if I just titled
this post something interesting instead of ‘crappy law school rant’. I read
Maggie’s blog all the time, I still contend that the woman could write a post
about paint drying and I would love it and rave about the character development
of the paint as it went from wet to dry, seriously. For those of you who don’t read Maggie's blog she rally races (more on that here)! This is something I have always wanted to do! One of my
first passions was cars. In High School I obsessively followed the WRC (World
Rally Championship) and my parents even bought me the car of my dreams a
Mitsubishi Lancer OZ Ralley, which further fed my obsession. In an earlier post
as part of the Dear Teen Me Blog Tour I shared a letter my 16 year old self
wrote to me at 21 and as you can see I’m not making this stuff up. It basically
said love your family, love your car, better make sure to have a Ferrari! I obviously had my priorities straight.
So after reading Maggie’s post a little seed was planted in
my head. Maggie is a fiction writer right? So what is she doing racing cars?! I
started realizing that maybe I could be a lawyer but that didn’t have to be my
entire life. I could be a lawyer and a:
- Rally racer
- Writer
- Publishing intern (or at least I could get a job in the legal department maybe?)
- Book Blogger
- Graffiti Artist (I could take over for Banksy if he wants to retire)
- Bakery Owner
- Clothing Designer (Just BE clothing line of course, we would also do perfume)
- Prison Warden
- Regular Artist (In case Banksy doesn’t want to retire)
- World Traveler
- A DJ (Everyone’s a DJ!)
Okay, some of those jobs are a little less realistic then
others but at one point in my life they are all careers I have considered. I’m
actually totally serious about opening that bakery the only thing stopping me
is the early mornings (and the bank doesn’t want to loan me more money =P).
In essence Maggie got me thinking (and listening to music you probably won’t like) that my profession doesn’t have to be my life. It only
has to be a piece of the person I am. I can do other things! After feeling
trapped in a life I made for myself but didn’t want it felt so liberating to
know that I can be a lawyer and do something else; that this decision to go to
school had not changed my life so completely that I would never be able to do
anything I liked ever again. At 24 I’m still young enough to have a life, make
dumb decisions, and I’m not stuck!
So I want to thank Maggie, without ever knowing she was
doing anything she helped me realize I can still have a life. That I can be 2
or 3 or 10 different professions if I want! This year I’m happily going to finish Law School
This is really amazing!
ReplyDeleteI love this post! First off, I had no idea that Maggie was a rally car racer (or what that is -- to be honest, driving fast generally scares me nowadays because I got into a horrible accident in Atlanta.) But most importantly, I'm so glad that you were able to find some sort of peace with what you're doing now and what you can still do in the future. I think the hardest thing is the balance between pleasing parents and pleasing yourself. I'm struggling with that right now, and it's making my heart ache. I know what I want to do -- but sometimes, I feel as though it may not be what they want for me. Again, I love that you wrote this, Emily :D And good luck in Law School and your other outlets. Maggie is definitely right. You can do more than just one thing to make you happy :D
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Becca! It was hard for me to write this actually just because I felt like by saying I'm unhappy I didn't want to come off as ungrateful. But I'm happy I did because I know I'm not the only person dealing with this situation. It is a super hard line to walk between doing what you love and what your parents want, I hope your heart stops aching soon and you can find a happy medium!
DeleteI find that doing a bit of everything (including the things I don't like as much) is what makes life great. All types of activities and people are what makes it interesting, and that the sucky stuff makes you appreciate the awesome stuff. And just so you know, I know lawyers who graduated, practiced law for years but then decided to quit and now do totally different things- it's all up to you! Glad you're happy:)
ReplyDeleteLovely post and it's true you don't have to decide what you are going to be at 21. Hell I'm 30 next month and still don't really know - what I do know is that if I had allowed myself to be pushed into the careers other people wanted for me, I would probably be deeply unhappy and resentful and even if I had the best job in the world I wouldn't be able to appreciate it! Glad Maggie helped you along your way!
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